Patriarchy is a social system where men hold primary power and predominate in roles of leadership, moral authority, social privilege, and control of property. It’s a system often criticized for creating inequality and limiting opportunities for women and others. When faced with rejection, whether of patriarchy itself or of male ego, it can unfortunately devolve into an “animalistic mindset” within our society. Acid attacks and rape cases serve as grim examples of this phenomenon.
Let me share a story about a young woman. Her life was relatively smooth, with no significant controversies. Suddenly, her family and family friends began numerous marriage proposals for her. She gracefully rejected each one without any harsh comments. One day, shortly after returning from university, an indirect marriage proposal arose. Relatives were involved, convincing both families, and the interactions seemed cool and fun. However, a fundamental difference in ethics and values became apparent. The boy’s family desired a “workaholic lady” and did not want a daughter-in-law who needed to be provided for or to be fed by them.They held an uneducated mentality, believing the girl should be a diligent worker or workoholic with the mindset of an househelp. Conversely, the girl’s family sought a well-settled individual capable of taking responsibility for a new family. The boy himself was very very very average-looking, educated, but jobless. He seemed unable to assert himself in front of his parents or sister and lacked his own opinions. Within a short period and a few family gatherings, both sides recognized their differing mindsets and the incompatibility for adjustment. This is a normal outcome, and both families moved on without issue, as no formal commitment or verbal agreement had been made.
However, all these families or individuals who had faced rejection began to create drama collectively. They exaggerated the situation to defame the girl or undermine her confidence, fueled by a deep-seated grudge from their own rejections. They spread fabricated stories with malicious intent, or perhaps sought attention by using the girl’s name, as their own “cheap personalities” garnered no notice. Alternatively, they simply found amusement in creating drama in the girl’s life, driven by their grudges, demonstrating how rejection can lead to animalistic behavior.
During this time, comments were made about the girl’s skin tone, with approximately 80% of the critics sharing the same complexion. The remaining 20%, who claimed fair skin, exhibited physical flaws: “buffalo figures,” short stature(dwarf), below-average facial features, and faces full of acne, baldness. Some suffering with infertility. Others had disabilities, such as blindness in one eye, leg impairments/disability, squint eyes(Bhengi), differing eye sizes, or congenital conditions like poliosis (White hair by birth). One individual struggled with clear speech due to a cleft palate from birth. Another was deaf in one ear, one was autistic, and another displayed mental abnormalities. Some were uneducated.
When the girl was confronted with reality check, she responded in same way, pointing out their flaws. Since no one had ever offered her a reality check before, she hadn’t previously given back reality check to anyone. Hearing the truth only intensified their grudges.
Subsequently, someone pointed out that her father was a government employee in the 20th grade. However, the person who primarily made this remark was a school clerk in the 11th grade. Others were also government or private employees, some orphaned and jobless. Those who claimed to be in business operated small, single-room enterprises, seems like shopkeepers. All relatives lived in the same neighborhood, not far away. All relatives, including her family, owned land property but preferred to remain in their ancestral town.
These rejected individuals then began defaming the girl with their own manufactured stories, driven by the grudge of their earlier rejection. Furthermore, they couldn’t control the girl or her parents’ decisions regarding her future. The lesson here is that those actively trying to defame the girl are not in a strong position in life; they are middle-class. Defamation is only effective against someone who already has fame or value. This demonstrates an animalistic mindset stemming from rejected patriarchy.
Society operates on mindsets associated with rejecting patriarchy, which involves a desire for greater gender equality, a challenge to traditional power structures, and a belief in the inherent worth and capabilities of all individuals, regardless of gender.
Also Read: Fixing body with skincare or aesthetics vs. fixing the soul
Today's E-Paper