By: Muhammad Siddique Kayani
In a well-known hotel in Lahore, an elderly man was sitting alone, leisurely sipping black coffee. When my eyes fell on him, I felt that in this cold weather I, too, should have this beverage. The very next moment, I placed an order for black coffee as well. The waiter served it with sugar separately.
The bitterness of black coffee and age
The first sip of the coffee without sugar tasted extremely bitter. Even after adding sugar, the bitterness persisted. The elderly man sitting across from me was watching this scene. He smiled faintly and addressed me:
“Black coffee without sugar is drunk only after the age of sixty. I suppose you are around fifty; that’s why the bitterness isn’t going away even after adding sugar.”
A conversation about aging and time
His remark seemed reasonable. Since he had underestimated my age, I corrected him and said:
“You’re right, but I am fifty-five years old.”
Hearing this, he smiled again and said:
“Enjoy life for another five years. After that, neither will your will prevail nor will anyone care. Then you and I will be sitting in this very hotel, enjoying black coffee—if I am still alive. Because after seventy, every moment leads toward death, one should enjoy whatever time one gets.”
A lifetime of responsibility and sacrifice
His candid conversation drew me in. He began narrating the story of his life. He said that he had spent his entire life working hard to meet his family’s needs. He served in a government department and, to overcome financial difficulties, also worked part-time in a private firm. He got married, educated four children, and raised them to become responsible citizens.
Upon retirement, he built a five-marla house, married off his children, and thus, apparently, was relieved of all responsibilities. Three of his sons are employed and earning well, while his daughter lives in the United States with her husband. He said that his pension was sufficient for a comfortable life.
When expectations turn into pain
During the conversation, he suddenly began to cry. He said his children wanted to sell the house and live separately, leaving him and his wife uncertain about their future. The moisture in his eyes and the trembling in his voice reflected deep emotional pain.
He explained the arrangements proposed by his children and shared his fear of losing stability in old age. The entire situation reminded me of the film Baghban.
Lessons learned from black coffee and life
The elderly man shared his philosophy: parents should not rely entirely on children, should remain financially independent, and should maintain friendships to ease emotional burdens and protect mental health.
He said he had sold the house, given his sons their shares, and bought a small flat with his wife. Though they live peacefully now, they miss their grandchildren deeply.
When black coffee no longer tastes bitter
In the end, he said:
“Now my wishes and will no longer prevail, so I have made peace with the circumstances.”
After hearing all this, I realized that after retirement, a new life begins—one where emotional detachment makes black coffee without sugar feel familiar rather than bitter.
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