Former Pakistan opener Ahmad Shahzad became emotional while speaking about his prolonged absence from competitive cricket, saying the pain feels deeper this time because of his nine-year-old son.
Appearing on Geo News’ programme “Harna Mana Hai,” Shahzad said he still has a strong desire to return to the field and struggles with each Pakistan Super League (PSL) auction cycle.
“Yes, of course, I get emotional. If I’m being honest, I feel very sad. I want to play,” he said. “My batchmates are all playing. I feel happy for them, but I do wonder about myself — what were the reasons, why did this happen?”
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Difficult days after PSL auctions
Shahzad, who was part of Quetta Gladiators’ title-winning squad in the Pakistan Super League, said the days following each auction are particularly challenging.
“I have 18 years in this field. For all those things to suddenly go away, I remember it a lot. It makes me want to cry. The first two or three days are very difficult, and it happens every time,” he said.
He also expressed disappointment that, despite nearly two decades in Pakistan’s cricket system, no official had formally contacted him regarding his future.
“Why is it that no one has the courtesy to come and talk to me and ask, ‘What happened, Ahmad Bhai? Let’s sort it out and do something for Pakistan?’” he said.
Confusion over his status
Shahzad revealed that there appears to be confusion among some franchise officials about his playing status.
“One team even thought I was banned. Some think Ahmad has retired happily. There is no clarity provided to them by the Pakistan Cricket Board,” he said, referring to the Pakistan Cricket Board.
Taking a lighter tone, he suggested that his presence in the PSL would still generate interest.
“If my name were in the PSL, wouldn’t the profile of the league go up? People would watch — some out of love, some out of hate, some just for fun,” he said, adding humorously, “I know how to speak a bit. I’m a handsome man, I look good in the jersey.”
‘This time it hurts more’
Despite his disappointment, Shahzad said he would not personally approach officials to seek a return.
“A player’s biggest weapon is his respect and his self-esteem. I cannot call someone and say, ‘Let’s sort it out,’” he said.
He became visibly emotional while speaking about his son.
“This time, what hurts most is that he is nine. And he wanted me to play,” Shahzad said. “He sleeps with me. He says, ‘Baba, I remember you used to play. But now I will remember you better.’ This is the one thing that touched my heart.”
Shahzad added that he stands by his past decisions and remains content with his principles.
“Otherwise, I am happy with my decisions. I lived by my morals,” he said, drawing applause from the studio audience.
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