Peshawar: Saira Khan (name changed for privacy reasons), now 55, was just 4 years old when her hand was given in Swara and was married off into a family of enemies in Swara at the age of 13 after his uncle stabbed a person to death over a miner dispute inside a mosque in Mardan city of Khyber Pakhtunkhwa Pakistan.
Swara is a notorious custom in Pashtunwali or Pashtun code of conduct mainly found in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa and Afghanistan where girls, often miners, are given in marriage to an aggrieved family as compensation to end the major disputes, often murders.
Similarly, for Saira, the elders came to take her in the dholi while she was playing with her doll in the streets after the jirga decided to be married off into the family of the aggrieved. The crying and mourning of Saira were heard by all the village when she was carried away in the dholi by the elders of the village who had decided to put an end to the enmity which lasted for at least 4 years after the killing. She was taken into the family before she was married to show it to the villagers as an example that I minor has been taken in Swara.
Remembering her past she said, “I was 4 years old and with a doll in my hand in the street, suddenly a dolly came, and I was forced to sit in it, and I started crying loudly.” Adding that she was not allowed to go outside the dhole as her in-laws wanted to show it to the people of the village that she was being brought in Swara from the house of the killer.
She said, “I was continuously crying, and the neighbourhood came to spectate when I was forced to sit in the dholi in the in-law’s house for at least 8 hours.”
Unfortunately for Saira, the killer and other uncles had their daughters, but her mother (the sister of the killer), gave her hand off in the aggrieved family, saying that she didn’t want her brothers in trouble in the future and wanted an end to the clash.
Saira said, “All three of my maternal uncles had daughters, but my mother forced me to accept the decision of the jirga for the sake of her brothers and gave me in Swara.”
Going through a harsh and tough life in her husband’s house after her forced marriage, she went through serious mental trauma for a long time.
She said, “My husband used to put me under mental stress at the request of his elder brother and mother for years.” She continued, “Fortunately, at the age 15, I gave birth to a baby girl, my life changed and my husband stood by me and took my side, saying that he wouldn’t allow me to be forced to do the odd work at home.”
As time passed, luck changed for Saira and her mother-in-law also expressed mercy on her as she accepted her as a member of the family.
Sardar Khan (not a real name), husband of Saira, 16 years old at that time, was also not in favour of the decision of the Jirga but he had to succumb to the decision of the Jirga.
Sardar Khan said, “I did not agree to this marriage, but I was forced to get married with the pressure of my elder brother and mother, saying it was a matter of honor for the family.” Adding that it was hard for him to accept the marriage and my mind was shattered, believing that the age of the girl was too little for the marriage, but my brother had decided to take the revenge of his father (who was killed).
Though there are no fresh and up to dated data is present with present with the government in Non-Government Organizations (NGOs) working in the field, however, program manager of Rehuma Family Plaining Association (RFPA) told this scribe that they found out at least 900 cases from 2009-2012.
In April 2022, to bar the paths to Swara, Khyber Pakhtunkhwa assembly tabled a resolution in the house on Swara which was passed.
Former member of the provincial assembly and Chairperson Women Parliamentary Caucus KP Sumaira Shams said, “Several communities were made to do lawmaking on child marriage-related customs like Swara and Ghag.” She added that some of the work was already done, but the assembly were prematurely dissolved.
Swara is still a nightmare for many miniers in different parts on Pashtun lands, however, life for Saira changed later as the decision was taken without the consent of both husband and wife, they finally decided to make their lives better and accepted each other as husband and wife. Embarking on the journey of life, they gave birth to 4 daughters and two miscarriages.
Saira Khan told this scribe, “The doors opened for us and our forced marriage was successful after a lot of trauma and challenges for years.” However, she added that this doesn’t go for anyone as his husband luckily proved to be a true gentleman.”
She said that no one should be given in Swara as only those who go through it know the pain and tension of it.
